This Is What I Think Happened

Has it ever occurred that dreams seem like reality, yet at times, reality appears to be a dream?

I am known for my memory.  Not to say that I have eidetic memory, but I seem to memorize things a bit faster than most people, or so I’ve been told.  I also have severely vivid dreams filled with colors and emotions, making it easy to confuse it with reality.  In fact, dreams are the one things I never seem to forget.

What I remember is an old man grabbing my private parts (sorry as I have NEVER said this out loud before) over my clothes.  I must have been five or six.  It wasn’t in private or anything, it was actually at a party with family members and friends of family members.  I did not know him.  I think, if anything, it was meant as a joke.  It happened, if remember correctly, on two separate occasions, but my brain may just be repeating the event.

The only reason why I even think this was possible is because I remember having sexual dreams very early in life, before I was 10, I think, of a woman doing the exact same thing as the old man had done.

Sexual dreams have always been a part of my life.  This isn’t normal right?  I don’t have them every night, but I had them at a very young age.

I am not writing this as a way to get attention as far more people have had to undergo far more severe forms of abuse.  I do not wish to be a part of their group as they deserve more respect and understanding.  This is more of a way to finally accept what I have thought about a lot within the past couple years.

Perhaps it was real, but perhaps it was a dream.  Either way, I remember it like if it was yesterday.


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