Looking around at other people, I see happiness, love, relaxation, peace.

Looking on the inside, I see war, turmoil, stress, instability.

You could say I have a mild form of general anxiety disorder;  there is something to worry about and if that’s inexistent, stress takes its place.  Either way, I am never at peace.

It feels like there is a mass of conflicting emotions in the middle of your chest.  Hate, of course, predominates.  Followed by stress and worry.  It’s not a hate for others specifically, but for existence in general.

There are times in which life seems like it is too hard.  Nothing I ever do will be good enough to get me the job that I want.  I feel like I am failing.

Living with my sister has made me realize I do not want to be handed things.  I want to live on my own and by my own rules.  Doing so at this point in my life would be largely inefficient.  Great, another thing that keeps adding on my anxiety.  

I don’t know how other people do it.  It is so much easier quit and let things occur by themselves, if they ever do at all.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s