I’ve Deviated

Thinking back to how I used to post and comparing it with how I write now, you could say I am a little disappointed.  Not because of the quality of writing, which I think has remained unchanged, but what I am writing about.

Most blogs I read have interesting lives and boyfriends to speak about.  I don’t. I am perpetually stuck in a state of indecision and living a double life.  This is the first time I have ever said it aloud.  Living a double life.

I suppose it’s true because no one, except for my best friend, knows about my blog (she doesn’t even know what I write about).  My readers have delved into a portion of my psyche unbeknownst to those actually living with me.

Since the direction my writing has taken has proved fruitless, I will begin to focus more on my thoughts and feelings.  Not daily, filtered emotions; but raw, untarnished sentiments that creep their way into my mind and body.

I don’t wish to stop writing altogether, as doing so helps me compartmentalize my irrational notions.  The lack of responses from others, without wanting to sound needy, has shown me I have much more work to do in order to relate to my readers.

This is not to say that I am unhappy with the level of “likes” I have received, in fact, it’s the opposite: I know what works and what doesn’t.

Hopefully, I can grow as a writer in order to achieve what I seek and fulfill my insatiable need to solidify ideas, even if in the deep void of the internet.

continue writing